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Thandomusilee5
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Name: Thando Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States Birthday: 7/19/1900 Gender: Female
Interests: -God
-Music
-Chapstick
-Nail Polish
-Movies
-Andrew McMahon
-Boys in general
-Chhoir
-Oranges
-Popcorn
-People who always smile!
-Lyrics
-Summer
-Ballet Flats
-Cool clothes in general.
Expertise: I'm talented at breathing. Occupation: Student Industry: Other
Message: message me Website: visit my website AIM: hellokittyrox52 MSN: Thando_9@msn.com
Member Since:
3/25/2005
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| I know this is stereotypical of teen angst. But, I have a lot of conflicting feelings at the moment. I'm really happy, exceedingly happy. I haven't smiled, laughed, danced and felt comfortable in my own skin for a while. I haven't had hours upon hours of being carefree for a while. And, suddenly my light spirit has returned. But no, not without more problems. I've become spiteful and envious. Grr, I hate this part of myself. The uncensored and hurtful part. I know it's not me. I know I can be more than that. But still I get so frustrated with my efforts going nowhere. And, I know right about now is where I stop trying. Stop trying to be okay with myself. Instead I let it go and give it up to God. Yes, my feelings are natural...But, are they right? Lots of things are human nature. You could say that ethnocentrism is just an underlying part of human nature. Something all humans tend to be. But is it right? No, it's usually destructive. So, why let this natural and negative part of me go unchecked? It's not right, it's hurtful.
And then there's that song. Darn you Copeland. Writing down word for word what I feel. Hey, there's little rays of sunshine when it comes to that subject. I like my hair. I like my dances. I love the way I sing along to every melody and tune. I love music. I love the Lord. I love Kennedy sometimes. I loved High School Musical 3 this weekend. I love spending time with Marcellina Reis. Maybe I should start that list of positives again?
The List: 1. Yummy, yummy bag lunch for Thando. 2. The oppurtunity to learn guitar. 3. Strength other than myself. 4. Turning in my transcript request forms! 5. Obnoxious tiaras. Because this song is all I have to make me feel, And all it takes is just a love to make it hurt. And every sound arranged in time can make me lose. Now it's a funny way I find myself with you. But now there's nothing left to do but waste my time. I never knew where to move on. I never knew what to rely upon. And now there's nothing left to say to change your mind. And if you're are unhappy still, I will be hanging on your line should you return. Should you return, should you return.
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| -sigh- I'm feeling a bit melancholy. And, I'm debating whether or not I want to talk about it. Well, maybe I'll just allude to why I feel melancholy. A. I'm listening to my "Sad, Depression Time" playlist on iTunes. B. I saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist with Marcie on Friday and it made me depressed for various reasons. C. The musical is over and I'm going to miss the beautiful music ever so much. D. There's nothing in the house for me to drink with my Chipotle. 
Well, at least I won't be stressed about the musical anymore. Holiday show is coming up and that's really laid back. Plus, Christmas makes me really happy.
I thought I had a lot more to say when I started this entry.
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| Hey world! Yeah, you! I'm having a good time here. Yes, a happy entry. I know you were really looking forward to the regularly scheduled programming of the "Mope, Mope" show but, I'm actually happy. Why the sudden onset of joy, you ask. I can't comprise my thoughts into a paragraph so, here's a rudimentary list.
1. I went to Chicago with AnnMarie, (just us, no parents!) over MEA. It was fabulous! We shopped, hung out with Michael Weisner and his friends, visited North Park and got a taste of the independent life. It was glorious. 2. I barely went to any classes today because I was busy with Ignite/giving tours of the school. And tomorrow I get miss the whole day! WOOOO! 3. Jesus is SO amazing. All of the things I was sad and dwelling on the last month or so have all but vanished from my life. Which is fabulous, I don't feel weighed down. And with this my heart has been given the chance to focus on what God wants me to do. I've gotten to talk to so many people and some of them even want to go to my church now! Yaaaaaay.
I'm seriously okay now. I don't have a date to Sadie's but I think I will have alternative plans if I don't find one so all is well! The musical is doing fairly well. Hopefully tomorrow's show won't be a total disaster...?
The List: 1. I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy... 2. Filling out and completing college apps. 3. Feeling appreciated. 4. Free delicious cookies! 5. Being okay, finally!
I know You stay true when my world is false.
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| Just when I think I'm about to fall. You catch me. I just reread my last entry. It's funny amazing how quickly the Lord steps in and turns things around. I won't pretend, things got worse before they got better. But after a few corroding, "I'm disappointed in you"s and my own longings looks convincing me that I still "love" him, I woke up. A. This is high school. Life is so much bigger than this. But at the same time it's not. What you do here, what happens to you, who you meet, what people think about you can actually affect you post JFK. It's quite a balancing act actually. Care enough to make a difference, and to get through adolescence fairly unscathed. But at the same time let things roll off your back, try your hardest and keep the bigger picture in mind. B. Jesus is amazing. No seriously. Not in the flaky "let's all sing at church and be Christians..blah blah" way. Like in a physical makes me want to say "Holy s***! why are you so AWESOME?!" way. I'm probably straddling a fine line of blasphemy right now. But, He is working in my life, healing me, making me confident in who I was created to be, making me confident in a glorious future, filling voids I never even knew existed. This is why I want to see revival in Kennedy. I want to see kids lives touched the way mine and countless other have been. I don't want people to know religion, rules, ignorance blah blah. But, LIFE. Life the way it was intended to be.
Oh yeah, I went to the University of Michigan this weekend. Too much drinking, too many kids, too much craziness. I had fun when I wasn't at the school though! 
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